I was hoping to start recording a CD this spring but some fiscal irresponsibility is going to screw that up, I'm afraid.

I haven't found a regular accompanist yet so I haven't really gone out seeking gigs. Though the audience usually seems to like me, I have never once had a club booker come up to me after I've been on a bill and try to get me in there again. So feh.

My health has been really poor, too. I injured my back in August. I was bed-ridden for a week. I took pretty good care of following doctor's orders and things were getting better. But then they started getting worse again. It has never healed. And it's causing all sorts of muscular weirdness as other parts of my body try to compensate. It's messed up. Man, I hate getting old.

I guess my plan at this point is to try to build up my stamina on the guitar and see if I can get a regular repertoire going. Once I've got the house more settled and the weather gets better again, I'd like to start hosting musician drop-in jams on Sundays. And you could probably make those, right?

Well, a little complication came up on the gig-playing plans. Unless I find a regular accompanist to work with.

Friday I had the followup appointment with the hand surgeon. He was looking at the results from the nerve conduction test. I have damage to both ulnar nerves. He said with the "scores" I had that it means the nerves have lost some of their ability to conduct and that the myelin is disappearing from the nerves at those points.

He recommended I get an outpatient surgery that will move the nerves to a place where they will be more protected because where they are right now has exposed them to repeated irritation. He said I have some bad numbers for my left wrist, too, and normally he'd do the carpal tunnel while I was in for surgery but the numbers are on the edge so he wants to just watch it and see. Which is fine by me. I'm for more conservative treatment.

I'm a little scared about getting surgery again but the biggest problem is that the recovery time is from 6 - 12 weeks. My boss is *not* going to like that. The university itself will have no problem because they're good about legal stuff, but this is not good news for my job. Although I think it's better to get this surgery now when I'm not entirely up-to-speed for them than for me to get it when I've already been worked into the support schedule.

Another problem is that I need to get the house straightened up for housemates and interview housemates. It's been hard to move fast on this stuff because my health problems have been sapping my energy. If I get this surgery, I'll need to speed this process up so I can have the surgery in late March.

I've been pretty down on the idea of having surgery but he made a reasonable argument about why its the good thing to do. And I don't think it's as potentially bad as CT release because once you snip the ligament across the carpal tunnel, it's snipped. This is just moving the nerves to a different place.

I'm very discouraged about my music. I think I'm good. I think I have a talent to share. And unlike instrumentalists, it's likely I'll start losing my instrument in my 60s. Most vocalists start to lose their instrument when they get old. So I have a limited time to share with folks. It's very frustrating to constantly be looking for people to work with and not finding them. If you know of anyone you think would be a good fit for me, let me know. I do not have money so they have to work for a 50-50 split of whatever the gig pays, if it pays.

Wow. This tribe is really dead.